Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
