Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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