I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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