i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
