Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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