You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize