Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You took a bar mat shot.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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