he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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