i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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