at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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