My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
