So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
