Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
