My first STD was from a foam party
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
What a dumb baby whore.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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