What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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