remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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