You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
nutella sex= disaster
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
