Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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