im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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