My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
