he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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