This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
