If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
