Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
