Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
