so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
