I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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