I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
