I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just cropdusted the office
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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