Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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