I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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