bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You're so nebulous sometimes
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
