i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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