i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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