I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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