Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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