she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
