She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
