I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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