He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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