He is an equal opportunity slut.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
