Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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