oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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