How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
