So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
