A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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