I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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