You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
