my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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