69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
pray to the hookup gods
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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