I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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