I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize