Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
