Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
