Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
