If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
