i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
