Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
