Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
