My first STD was from a foam party
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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