That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
