I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
